Written By:  Katie Parker
             West Region Contributor

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California Storm Assistant Coach Chris Malenab shares his story as a suicide attempt survivor and offers advice to WPSL players.
 

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Chris Malenab brings over 20 years of coaching experience to his first season with the Pac North Conference’s California Storm. He's coached in the United Soccer League for various teams, including Sacramento Republic FC, Reno 1868 FC and the Oakland Roots SC.
 

 

While his coaching experience is impressive, he spoke with Women’s Premier Soccer League Correspondent Katie Parker about an even more important topic - mental health. Chris is a suicide attempt survivor and a strong advocate for mental health awareness. You can watch the full interview here.

 

“There's still a lot of stuff that around that time I still don't know exactly what happened, because it was just almost like robotic or autopilot where I wasn't necessarily in control of it,” Chris said.

 

January 6, 2019 - the day that was almost Chris’ last. 

 

“I couldn't say like I planned it per se, even though the red flags were there. I think things just came to a boil to where it happened. I'm obviously blessed and grateful to be here, to have this conversation, to be on the soccer field, to be around my family.”

 

Chris was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder when he was 26 years old. On average, there’s an 11-year delay between the onset of mental illness symptoms and treatment, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Chris explained that challenges regarding mental health never came up in conversation. It wasn’t something discussed in his Asian culture and it certainly wasn’t something at the forefront of sports culture.

 

Chris always thought, “by not talking about it, then I'll be normal…I'll fit in.”

 

When he was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, he admitted he didn’t commit to finding the professional help he needed, because, again, it’s not something so-called “normal” people did.

 

“When I did receive the suggestions of therapy and to go see a psychiatrist and so forth, I was like…It's not normal. I know people talk about [going] to the doctor, but I've never heard any of my friends talk about going to the therapist.”

 

When he did finally break through the stigma in his own mind and understand the importance of having professional help, finding the right self-care team was a challenge in itself.

 

“For me, I think the most challenging part was having to tell my story over and over and over. Not so much like the story of what happened January 6, 2019, but where it all built up, my background, my upbringing and all that. And so that part got exhausting.”

 

He realized that even though it was a process, it was imperative he push forward.

 

“It's not like going to the doctor and them saying, oh, you're allergic to this, take this one medicine for two weeks and then we'll see how it goes. It's longer than that…and I started realizing that, yeah, I need to put as much energy into this as I need to because by doing so, this is actually the way that I show the people around me who love me, that I love them back - by taking care of myself first.”

 

There’s a lot of trial and error when it comes to finding a mental wellness plan that works for each person. Chris found a couple of tools that help him relax and breathe: a gratitude journal and running.

 

“There's a little motto that I've started using - be where your feet are,” Chris said. “Sometimes by looking too far ahead, we don't actually get to enjoy what we're doing right now. And so sometimes I think without knowing it, we're missing the whole idea of enjoying the small victories…Not every day is going to be great, but there's always going to be good in every day.”

 

Chris made it clear that just because he deals with mental health struggles, it doesn’t make him an expert or qualified to give professional advice. When it comes to his role this season with the Storm, however, there’s something he was told about being an assistant coach that’s always stuck with him: head coaches tell players how to play, assistant coaches help players how to feel.    

 

“The [WPSL] season is fast and furious. However, you still have to enjoy it. We can't get so caught up in all kinds of other things that we lose the reason that we put our cleats on every day.” Chris said. “However, on the same note, reminding players that if they're struggling, if they're facing these challenges - anxiety, depression or other things - soccer will always be there. And it's OK to say I can't do that right now…There's always going to be a season ahead of us, but we're only here once.”

 

Chris hopes those who aren’t dealing with mental health challenges can remember to be kind and empathetic and to really get to know people. When someone you know seems to be struggling, specific questions like, “how is your mental health?” are okay to ask. After that, just be supportive.  

 

He wants those struggling to know, “they're not by themselves, they're not alone, that they're needed, they’re loved, they’re cared for, that someone needs them here today, tonight, tomorrow, next week.”

 

Chris has worked with various artists and foundations over the last four years on an annual shirt for Mental Health Awareness Month in May. This year’s design featured a brain dribbling a soccer ball with the words, "Mental Health Matters." The shirt was available through May 31 and 100% of the proceeds went to the Jordan Porco Foundation, which focuses on peer-to-peer education and suicide prevention.

 

The foundation was founded in 2011 and is named after Jordan Porco, who died of suicide while in college. To help support their mission of preventing suicide in the high school, college, and college entry student population, you can donate directly to the foundation through their website.

 

Chris’ journey from playing soccer as a kid, to getting cut from his college team, to coaching professionally, to becoming a suicide attempt survivor and now a strong mental health awareness advocate is all covered in the full-length interview you can watch or listen to here.

 

Chris’ overall message to the players in the WPSL is to “take care of yourself. As an individual and just be a good teammate, a good person, in the locker room so that everybody feels welcome. I think what we need more of, especially today, is to allow people to feel part of it. To feel that they belong in the group as well.”

 

1 in 5 Americans lives with some sort of mental health challenge. According to the National Alliance on Mental Health, the suicide rate has increased 35% since 1999.

 

If you or someone you know is in crisis, text MHA to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Counselor 24/7 or call 1-800- 273-8255 to reach a local crisis center through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

 

Starting July 16, 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline will be available for mental health or emotional crisis situations by calling 988. It’s free and confidential and will be staffed by trained crisis counselors 24/7, 365 days a year.

 

You can also take a mental health test anonymously at mhascreening.org. While it is not a diagnostic tool, the results can help you begin the conversation and journey to getting support.